Fitness Training Session 2: Cardiovascular exercises

January 5, 2011 · Posted in Commentary 

FitnessToday was my second session with Little Miss Sunshine.  After I was done stretching prior to my training, I was informed that we would be working on cardiovascular exercises today.

My time with Little Miss Sunshine began in the stretching area.  I was shown an exercise where I would move sideways and pass over a large balancing pod, keeping at least one foot on it at any given time.  Of course, my athletic little disciplinarian demonstrated the exercise with ease.  Although I was a little awkward at first, I was able to accomplish this task in a satisfactory manner. Next, I was to use two balancing pods, putting one foot on each, then run in place.  Of course, Little Miss Showoff had no problem demonstrating my next assignment.  I, however, went into full doofus mode.  It was not a pretty sight.

My next stupid human trick was to push a small cart, with a 45 pound weight on  it, across the floor.  It was about 12 inches off the ground.  I was rather proud of myself, until it came time to stop.  I was able to stop the human juggernaut in time, but not very gracefully.  However, I demonstrated great prowess on subsequent runs across the floor where the cardiovascular equipment resides.  Yes, I had an audience!

I was taken to the treadmill next where I alternated between walking quickly forward, as well as sideways.  Little Miss Sunshine observed that my left side was a little weaker than the right. 

Now the fun part.  I followed my fitness guru downstairs where I was taken to an indoor soccer field with artificial turf.  It was a hotter than hell down there!  Lifetime Fitness obviously had a goal of simulating a hot July day and really outdid themselves.  Little Miss Sunshine had an epiphany during this phase of training.  I have relatively weak hamstrings.  I simply did not have the muscular fortitude in the back of my legs for the punishment that was being administered, so we went back upstairs to another treadmill.  Now we were trying to establish my anaerobic threshold.  I was also advised on buying a good heart rate monitor.  I am currently researching them.

We went back to the stretching area for some more quality time with the balancing pods.  I was a little more proficient this time.  Good.  Next, Little Miss Sunshine took me to a bench like contraption to stretch out my hamstrings, being that they are weak and all.  This machine is something of a modern day marvel.  It felt a little uncomfortable at first, but as my muscles were stretched, the sensation was pleasurable.  When I dismounted this wondrous apparatus, the lower half of my body felt about two clicks shy of an orgasm.

My session was done.  There was a lot of sweat, a little discomfort, some awkwardness, a quickened pulse, followed by elation.  I felt like a new man by the time I returned home and took an extended hot shower.  My next session on Friday will include lower body and core exercises.

Updated on 1/6/2011 to correct an error brought to my attention by my thoughtful trainer.

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